so.. where am i ? :|

23:48 WIB
01/12/2011
bedroom

i know its already late of night...
but, how can i hold this kind a feelin bout my messy world
perhaps...lot of u who knows me from outside, i was pretty busy
have plenty of things to do and fix..and yes ..i do like keepin my mind and my body work

beside my thesis, i really2 have a bad time with those thing
i cannot concetrate..
i keep busy thinkin bout my future
what am i goin to do?
what am i goin to be?

its kind gimme a big shot u know...
deep down inside..
i always want to make my family, especially my parent proud to have me here
but, in fact... they never
say proud...looks proud...say love...looks love...

i'm totally abandoned...

i sad..
of course i am
they mad...
of course they mad
but they dont know at all bout me
bout their daughter

i really hope they can have a moment that i can catch, that they proud..they love..
and they hug me so tight..

but..yeah thats just an imagination
but no~ im not come from a broken family..no...
i ..my life is just... different.. with anyone else...beside all reason upside ...
thats make me strong...
stronger...and stronger...but my body is getting weak..

i have many people who tried to read my life/future from cards or palmistry..
they said that ..my life is good...complicated love... lot of trouble and i've to take a long road..
but eventually it will be good..
*i dont want to trust it at all

so, my conclusion are...
this is my life, my journey, and my colourful page of life
and.... yes... between me now and the past 'me' if u want to know...we're totally different :)


love, awful, and getting sick so bad,
~XaphieGila~